When I wrote The Rules of “Normal” Eating, a colleague advised against using the word “rules” in the title because it was too diet-like and external sounding, while my view was on using internal guidelines for eating. This complex issue often arises in treating eating problems. Clients who were raised in rules-bound households commonly have difficulty letting go of the do-this-not that mentality. While chafing at the bit to break dieting rules, they’re also terrified they’ll start a free-for-all they won’t be able to stop. This was the internal conflict for my client, Claudette. While her mother was a stickler for rules, bordering on the obsessive, her father laid out a litany of them he never bothered to follow, such as telling Claudette she should always be nice to people and not argue, while he was a confrontational, my-way-or-the-highway guy. Consequently, when it came to rules, especially around...
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